In the beginning was the void, and the void was indifferent. The void was characterized by serene nonexistence. In less than a billionth of a second, and for some reason apparently beyond mortal understanding, nothing spontaneously became everything. This was the instant that emptiness decided it wanted to be somebody. In doing so, it made possible the potential for the good (waffles) and the bad (reality TV). This was The Big Awkward, and it paved the way for everything in this really weird thing we call, "life." 

Many people spend their whole lives trying to appear normal and resorting to any means necessary to make things seem less awkward. They make small talk and try to convince themselves and others that they are sane. They try to project an image of having it all together and having it all figured out. Let me assure you--nobody has anything figured out. The only joy to be found in life, the only true path to happiness is, and listen closely--to embrace the awkwardness. I have recommended this course of action for a long time. I tell young people, who have yet to ruin their lives with a doomed effort to attempt normalcy, to LET GO and EMBRACE THE AWKWARDNESS. Don't even try to pretend that any of this shit is "normal." In embracing your own weirdness, you reconnect with that initial, cosmic WTF. You are in effect saying, "You know what? Life IS strange, and if I even TRY to seem normal, I'm going against the will (or lack thereof) of whatever odd thing or impulse created this Universe." 

It's good to join the ranks of the IDKSers, (the I Dont Know Shit-ers). Socrates was one. Everyone was going around pretending they knew shit and this hard-drinking, WEIRD, BEARDED DWARF says, "Dude, give that shit up. The ONLY thing I know is that I DON'T. Per-eee-ud." The pretenders, learned philosophers, religious leaders, and politicians, said, "We've got to get rid of this dude--he makes us look bad." Then they gave him a warm beverage and told him the bad news after he had drank it. 

One of my personal role models is THE Dude. When The Big Lebowski opens, he is at the grocery sniffing half and half in his bath robe and house slippers, and wearing it all with utter, innocent confidence. THE DUDE - indeed! A man far beyond giving a fuck. A hero for a time when people really need to learn how to "Take 'er easy." What does The Dude do? He ABIDES. He doesn't allow this particular time and place in the spacetime continuum to ruffle his dudely raiment. The Big Awkward? Sure, why not?

When scientists look to the outer edges of The Universe for proof of the Big Bang, they aren't seeing background radiation, but background awkwardness. This whirling dance of gasses and space dust is what coalesced into planets and moons and suns and galaxies and life-forms of all kinds. It also became you, reading these words now and wondering what the fuck I'm talking about.